FOR: STRAIGHT WOMEN

1. Nice men are ugly.
2. Handsome men are not nice.
3. The men who are handsome and nice are gay.
4. The handsome, nice and heterosexual men are married.
5. The men who are not so handsome, but are nice, have no money.
6. The men who are not so handsome, but are nice and have money think we are only after their money.
7. The men who are handsome but don't have money are after our money.
8. The handsome men, who are not so nice and are somewhat heterosexual, don't think we are beautiful enough.
9. The men who think we are beautiful, that are heterosexual, somewhat nice and have money, are cowards.
10. The men who are somewhat handsome, somewhat nice and have some money and thank God are heterosexual, are shy and NEVER MAKE THE FIRST MOVE!!!!
11. The men who never make the first move automatically lose interest in us when we take the initiative.

NOW, WHO THE HELL UNDERSTANDS MEN?

"Men are like a fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you'd like to have dinner with."